“Do not be idolatrous about or bound to any doctrine, theory, or ideology, even Buddhist ones.” — Thich Nhat Hanh, The Fourteen Mindfulness Trainings
The Buddha told a story about a king who brought together people who had been blind since birth and introduced them to an elephant.
Each person touched a different part of the elephant. One felt its head and thought it was like a large pot. Another touched an ear and said it was like a winnowing basket. Someone else felt the tusk and compared it to a plowshare. Others held the trunk, touched the big belly, or felt a leg or the tail.
When the king asked them to describe the elephant, problems started right away. Each person had truly touched the animal. No one was lying about what they felt. But since each only knew part of the elephant, they soon argued over whose description was right.
According to the Udāna, the argument turned violent. They started hitting each other, each insisting that their idea of the elephant was the only correct one.
The Buddha shared this story after seeing religious teachers and philosophers argue about their beliefs. Each was sure his view of reality was right. The Buddha found their certainty almost funny. They reminded him of people fighting over an elephant that none of them could fully see.
This story has spread far beyond Buddhism, and over time, we have made it gentler. We tell children that everyone holds part of the truth, so we should listen to each other.
I don’t think the original story is so comforting. There really is an elephant. If someone holding the tail insists the whole animal is a rope, he is mistaken. The person touching the leg has found something real, but he confuses knowing a part with knowing the whole.
That seems much closer to the real spiritual problem we face. Each of us is touching something. Our histories shape what we notice. Our bodies remember certain experiences of safety and danger. We grew up in families, religions, cultures, races, nations, and economic situations that shaped what we see. We have our own wounds and privileges. We have learned things through love, pain, education, travel, work, and failure that others may never know.
We do see something. We just don’t see everything.
I’ve been thinking about this as our book group reads Father Gregory Boyle’s Cherished Belonging. Boyle has spent decades at Homeboy Industries in Los Angeles, working with people whose lives have been shaped by gangs, prison, poverty, addiction, and violence. He says the community is built on two beliefs: everyone is inherently good, no exceptions, and we all belong to each other, no exceptions.
That second belief changes how I see the elephant story. If I think the person on the other side is just wrong, I can ignore him. If I think he is ignorant, I can make fun of him. If I decide he is evil, I can try to defeat him and feel good about it. But if we belong to each other, more is needed. I might need to get curious about what he has experienced.
That doesn’t mean we have to pretend every perspective is equally true. Some claims are clearly false. Some beliefs cause real harm. Some people twist facts on purpose. Humility doesn’t mean giving up our moral judgment. It just means remembering that I can’t see reality from every side.
Boyle calls cherishing “love with its sleeves rolled up.” I like that because cherishing asks more of us than tolerance does. Tolerance can happen from a distance. Cherishing means getting close enough to see the person behind the label.
Something shifts when the person I disagree with becomes important to me. I want to know how they came to their views. I get curious about the experiences that shaped them. I might still disagree, but I no longer feel right turning them into just the worst thing they believe.
Maybe this is what the men around the elephant were missing. They had facts. They had strong beliefs. They even had direct experience. But they didn’t have enough humility or connection to wonder what someone else might know.
We live in a time when we have more information than ever, but we often end up surrounded by people who see things the way we do. Algorithms learn what we like and show us more of it. Our political and religious groups create their own ways of talking and thinking. After a while, people on the other side of the elephant seem impossible to understand. Then, their differences start to look like proof that they are foolish or corrupt.
I see this temptation in myself. As I get older, I’m more careful when someone’s view seems impossible to understand. Sometimes, the reason really is that the view is cruel, dishonest, or out of touch with reality. But sometimes, my confusion just shows the limits of my own perspective. They might have seen or felt something I haven’t.
Buddhism encourages us not to cling to our views. This doesn’t mean having no beliefs. It means not confusing our ideas about reality with reality itself. We can take what we know seriously, but not hold it so tightly that we can’t learn anything new.
Boyle adds something more. The person across from me isn’t just another viewpoint to consider. They are part of the circle of human concern.
This is why belonging and humility go together. Humility without belonging can stay in the mind: I admit I might be wrong. Belonging asks more. It asks if I can stay in relationship long enough to learn something I couldn’t see from my own spot.
That doesn’t mean we can or should keep every relationship. Sometimes, safety means keeping our distance, and justice means setting clear boundaries. But even then, someone’s humanity doesn’t depend on whether I agree with them.
In the Buddha’s story, the men ended up fighting because each was sure he knew the elephant. Two and a half thousand years later, that part of the story still feels very familiar.
Maybe the spiritual lesson is to hold our views a bit more loosely. The elephant is bigger than what we can hold, and the person on the other side still belongs with us.
We are in this together,
Cameron
Reflection Questions
When have you discovered that something you were absolutely certain about was true, but incomplete? What helped you see beyond your original understanding?
Who in your life sees the world so differently that you struggle to understand them? What experiences might have shaped their perspective that you have never encountered?
What might change in your relationships if you approached disagreement with the conviction that the other person belongs within your circle of concern, even when you believe they are wrong?
A Prayer for the Day
A Prayer For Beyond What We Can See
Holy Mystery, How easily we mistake the little we have touched for all there is to know. Open our eyes to the vastness of what remains unseen. Soften our certainty without weakening our courage. Give us humility to listen, wisdom to discern, and love spacious enough to hold those who see differently. When disagreement divides us, help us remember the humanity of the one standing on the other side. May we cherish one another even as we struggle toward truth. Amen.
Spiritual Practice: Walk Around the Elephant
Think of someone whose beliefs or choices you struggle to understand. Pick a person you can talk to safely, not someone who has hurt you or crossed your boundaries.
Start by writing what you think this person believes and why. Be as specific as you can. Next, ask yourself how much of this comes from real conversations with them, and how much is based on assumptions, their politics, social media, or what others have said.
If you feel comfortable, invite them to talk. Let them know you want to understand how they came to see things differently from you.
Ask them to share an experience that shaped how they see things.
Listen to them without thinking about how you’ll respond.
You don’t have to give up your beliefs, agree with them, or act like harmful ideas are okay. The goal is to learn something about this person that you hadn’t seen before.
Afterward, think about whether your view of the disagreement has changed. You might still believe what you did before, but maybe now you understand more about the person who sees things differently. That’s a meaningful first step.
Father Gregory Boyle says that belonging is harder than just tolerating others. It means staying curious about people we might otherwise ignore.
Maybe humility starts when we are willing to look at the whole picture.
Upcoming Events That Might Be of Interest…
My team and I launched a new experiment we are calling “The Commons.” It’s an online space centered around communities of practice: groups of people who share a common concern, set of problems, or passion for a topic, and deepen their knowledge and expertise by interacting on an ongoing basis. Join the community here.
NEW!!!!!! October 13, 2026 - 11-12:30pm ET - FREE ONLINE EVENT - The Art of Creating Community - We talk a great deal about the need for community these days. We are living through an epidemic of loneliness, deepening polarization, declining trust in institutions, and a growing sense that many of the places that once brought us together no longer do. But gathering people is not the same thing as creating community. Join me for a conversation with community strategist Laura Zug about the art and practice of forming communities that people genuinely want to be part of.
October 13, 2026 - 12:30 - 1:30pm ET - FREE ONLINE BOOK CLUB - For the next 5 weeks, I am hosting a book club where we will read Fr. Gregory Boyle’s “Cherished Belonging: The Healing Power of Love in Divided Times.” Father Gregory Boyle, founder of Homeboy Industries, has spent decades building community among people whom society has often discarded. In Cherished Belonging, he draws on those relationships and stories to explore what might happen if we stopped sorting people into categories of worthy and unworthy, us and them. Don’t worry if you don’t have time to read the book. We always have incredibly rich conversations. All are welcome. RSVP Here.
October 15, 2026, 7-8:45pm ET - I will be joining Jackie Sussman for an online session on practicing eidetics as part of our “Reclaiming the Power of Imagination” monthly series. Eidetic Imagery is a powerful tool for pastors, denominational leaders, coaches, and spiritual directors working with others, and for individuals seeking deeper integration and healing in their own lives. Jackie is a psychotherapist, author, and leading expert in Eidetic Image Psychology, and has spent over forty years helping leaders and individuals unlock creativity, uncover hidden strengths, and move through limiting patterns. During this session, she will lead a live Eidetic process shaped by mythic imagery, offering a direct experience of the work. REGISTER HERE.
October 18-21, 2026 - PREACH! 2026 Conference- I’ll be co-hosting PREACH in Minneapolis with Church Anew, a new gathering for preachers, storytellers, worship leaders, and spiritual communicators navigating what it means to speak with clarity, compassion, and courage in a changing world. If you’ve sensed that the preaching moment has changed and are longing for thoughtful community and renewed imagination for this work, I hope you’ll join us.
November 10, 7-8:30pm ET - I’ll be joined by theologian, writer, and professor Dr. Debra Rienstra for a special ONLINE conversation on Refugia Faith. In ecology, refugia are small places where life survives amid disruption, pockets of resilience from which life can eventually regenerate and spread. Debra invites us to consider what this might mean spiritually in an age of climate instability, political turmoil, institutional decline, and profound uncertainty. What if our congregations, communities, relationships, and even our own lives could become refugia, places where courage, compassion, beauty, wisdom, and possibility are protected and cultivated for whatever comes next? I hope you’ll join us for this timely and deeply hopeful conversation. REGISTER HERE!
November 4, 2026 - 7-8:30pm ET, ONLINE EVENT - Theologian Matthew Fox and I are teaming up again in a series called Journeying with the Mystics. The mystics have always emerged in times of uncertainty. They appear when old certainties are crumbling, when institutions no longer provide easy answers, and when people find themselves longing for a deeper experience of the Sacred. Join us for a 24-session exploration of the teachings of St. John of the Cross, Thomas Merton, Hildegard of Bingen, Kabir and Rumi, Meister Eckhart and more. This is more than a lecture series. It is an invitation into a living spiritual journey. Learn more and REGISTER HERE!
December 15, 7-8:30pm ET - FREE WEBINAR - I will be joined by Dr. Charissa Mikoski, Assistant Professor of Research and Hartford Institute for Religion Research for a presentation on “The State of American Congregations: What the Latest Data Tell Us.” This webinar explores findings from the 2025 Faith Communities Today survey, including changes in worship attendance, congregational vitality, finances, volunteering, programming, and leadership. It will also examine what more than 24,000 individual attenders tell us about participation and their experiences of congregational life. Together, these findings offer a picture that is neither simply one of decline nor one of revival, but of significant change and uneven recovery. REGISTER HERE.
Fun Things My Friends Are Up To…
I get to work with such amazing, creative people. This section is my way of celebrating them—no paid promotions, just joy in what they’re creating.
My dear friend Brian McLaren has a new novel coming in November, and I’m excited about this one. The Great Rift is the second book in his Last Voyage trilogy, imagining ten pioneers leaving a dying Earth for a fragile human settlement on Mars. The story weaves together ecological imagination, spirituality, art, survival, and the possibility of creating a genuinely different future. Brian is one of the most thoughtful and imaginative writers I know, and I love seeing him use fiction to explore questions he has spent a lifetime asking. The Great Rift comes out November 3 and is available for preorder now.
My friends at Church Anew have been building a terrific library of resources for congregations and church leaders navigating ministry in these strange and demanding times. You’ll find thoughtful worship and preaching resources, practical tools, and material designed to help communities engage the questions actually shaping our lives right now. I deeply appreciate the imagination and theological depth Church Anew brings to its work, so if you’re a pastor or congregational leader looking for fresh resources, spend a little time exploring what they’re creating.
Every Monday, 12pm ET - ONLINE WRITING GROUP - My dear friend, Meryl Marshall-Daniels, is leading a writing group open to all. This is a simple and spacious writing circle for people who want time to listen inwardly and put words on the page without overthinking, performing, or polishing. Meryl offers a prompt designed to invite reflection, imagination, and attunement to what is already alive within you. The practice honors writing as a way of listening, of letting images, memories, questions, and insights surface in their own time. Learn more here.
If you are a leader or member of a congregation looking for consulting support in visioning, planning, hiring or staffing, please consider Convergence.
I wonder about the blind men and their insistence that they were right. I wonder if they had lived a lifetime of being told they were wrong and/or stupid because they couldn't see. Now, here they are "seeing", maybe for the first time, and now they know what they know and they are just tired of people telling them they don't know. I can see how that would cause someone to push back and refuse to be told they are wrong, again.
And I am also struck by the appearance that no one is curious. And no one says, wow, that's not what an elephant feels like to me, come over here and feel what I am feeling.
Truly, I wish you could know how timely this was for me. From the opening quote to the closing prayer, I am so very grateful.